“If nothing changes, nothing changes.” -Courtney C. Stevens
We can spend a whole lotta time stuck in a really unhealthy pattern of behavior and not even realize it. Or maybe we do realize it, but we are too focused on blaming someone else for the situation that we fail to recognize our part in it. Some of us HAVE tried for years to break ourselves free from destructive habits and couldn’t.
I have had an ongoing battle with eating disorders for 16 years. I’m currently stable in my recovery but it took an inexplicable amount of pain to get here. I tried to free myself on my own. I also had days where I didn’t want to be free. I wasn’t willing to make the changes because change was terrifying. I was comfortable with the pattern of sickness I had enveloped myself in. The mere thought of change made me feel like I was spiraling out of control. The irony of the situation, was that I had less than no control over my life. Once I was faced with having to choose life versus death, God got my attention. Changes had to be made. Risks had to be taken. Responsibility needed to be assumed. And surrender was the key.
Being a very self critical person in nature, I’ve never had any issue pointing out my faults. It’s possible you’re the same way and self analyzing isn’t an obstacle for you. The problem is the responsibility piece. We can sit around, blame, and beat ourselves up until we are black and blue—but until we accept responsibility and present willingness to change we will stay stuck.
You may say, “But I did accept responsibility and still nothing changes.” Been there. Here’s the key my friend: surrender.
Are you trying to make these changes on your own? Or are you saying, “Jesus, I’m sorry for _____. Please forgive me. I can’t fix myself or this situation. I need you to come in and take over for me. I’m willing to let you be the guide of my life.”
We can accept responsibility but sometimes trying harder just isn’t enough. I know this from my recovery and through other hard life experiences. I’m a resourceful, buckle down, get-it-all-done, kinda person. That’s a determined attitude, but it only got me so far…like a few feet. I’d identify patterns of behavior I needed to work on, clench my fists, and try my hardest to change them, only to find myself disappointed because I failed yet again. It wasn’t until I surrendered that I found success.
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:”
Psalm 37:5 NIV
- Commit your way to the Lord. Don’t try to keep taking your way back. It doesn’t work.
- Trust in him. Take your burdens, lay them at the cross, ask for forgiveness, and believe that Jesus is going to carry them.
- Watch and see what he does.