Stop Trying To Figure It All Out!

Today is one of those days where I really need to write for myself.

Around noon, my phone started blowing up. I had a friend wanting to solidify dinner plans for next week, my mother was checking up on me, my sons daycare provider and I were discussing him coming on a more regular basis to supplement preschool, I realized I had missed calls to return, and soon felt like I had lost control of my day. Not to mention my two year old son had been throwing fits from the moment he had woken up. My husband walked through the door following a rather difficult day at work, and before he could get his boots off I started firing off questions at him, because my anxiety was through the roof. I needed everything figured out IMMEDIATELY. He got frustrated. I got frustrated. The conversation didn’t end well, and I left for work slamming the door shut in his face.

All because I was convinced I needed to have everything in order straight away. What would have happened if I left my husband a note? Kissed him on the cheek and said, “I love you, let’s talk later”, instead?”

I struggle with control. I want my hours, days, weeks, months, and YEARS mapped out ahead of me. I crave predictability. But the truth is, I can’t control every detail. I can’t control other people. I’m not in charge of the fact that 4 people decided to text/call me all at once. What I need to realize is that I don’t need to be on their timeline—and chances are they don’t expect me to be either. I put too much pressure on myself, and I transfer those emotional burdens onto my loved ones.

In the end, the things I was so worried about controlling weren’t worth the angst.

“We make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

There’s peace in handing things yet undetermined over to God. I’m a major work in progress, but I do know for certain that I’ve never felt better worrying, obsessing, or controlling. It’s my default, and I’ve got a lot of re-programming to do, but one day I’ll be able to stop the habit before I start.

“You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119:68‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I know I’d rather follow the ways of the Lord. Sometimes we have to mess up a lot before we learn. Thankfully we have a God who is patient, merciful, loving, kind, and gracious. He NEVER expects us to have it all figured out!

Much love,

Ashley

14 thoughts on “Stop Trying To Figure It All Out!

  1. Thanks for sharing this. Wow, I could relate and thought I would share with you something I found that has ‘reprogrammed’ my thinking 🙂 and made my life so much better.
    It’s a book called “Two Chairs”…easy read…written by Bob Beaudine. His mother taught him about it which, of course, if it’s something from someone’s mother…I’m sold 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love your transparency in this blog post! Trust me this same scenario you have described so perfectly has happened to me many, many, many times. And like you I am so blessed and relieved to know that we serve a risen Savior that loves us SO much that He knows just what we need to transform us into His likeness. Thank you for posting this, through your post and leading of the divine Holy Spirit my heart is full knowing our God is so graciousness and loving.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, I agree with ‘memories for tomorrow’, your honest reality and transparency is powerfully beautiful and releasing for people to be able to breathe and exhale. Thank you x

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yeah girl I find myself in that place mentally quite often ! Trying to figure it out and God sends signals and daily reminders for me to just Trust Him.

        And I’d love to have you over there on my site! I always enjoy your company!

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s